I Stand With Chelsea (No Spoilers)
LET US BE DUMB & HAPPY.
This is a story about The White Lotus but contains NO SPOILERS. You’re welcome.
I was not satisfied at the end of The White Lotus the way that I was at the end of previous seasons. I wasn’t mad, per sé, I just didn’t feel as full. Sort of like how I feel after going out for tapas.
Now that it’s been a couple of days, and I’ve read nearly every think piece about the show, I’m feeling a bit more at peace with the ending, and the season in general.
Many people had their doubts and didn’t appreciate the slow build. Mike White hilariously said that he was “edging” us, which I now totally get.
I particularly enjoyed this quote from Vanity Fair:
“This season, at least from how I was composing it, is using Buddhist ideas as the organizing principle, trying to think about identity as a cause of suffering,” he says. “I think of identity as this way of thinking about yourself in these concrete, literal terms that then end up becoming a source of pain for you. It can be a source of pride, but it also becomes a source of pain.”
Regardless of how you felt personally about all the characters, and even if you didn’t watch White Lotus, I think the core principle is something we can all understand and agree with. In fact, I even wrote about the concept of “identity” last week!
Which is why my favorite character throughout the entire season was Chelsea.
She was kind, optimistic, empathetic, curious, loyal, direct, and unrelenting in her beliefs. I was taken by her character’s ability to see everyone she met, and belong with everyone she met, exactly as she was. She didn’t change a thing for anyone, no matter how rich, handsome, gorgeous, etc.
Which is funny because on paper — and in the words of her own boyfriend — she was an idiot.
She was at a beautiful resort in Thailand with the much older “soulmate” and he could barely look her in the eye or maintain a conversation with her. And when he did, he was dismissive and angry. He was so distracted by his own misery and vengeance that he seemingly didn’t give a shit about the beautiful, young, dedicated woman in front of him.
And you know what? She never stopped loving him despite that.
Most people, women especially — (in my group chats, especially) — would never. Understandably!!!
“Why would a woman put up with that shit?!?” GOOD QUESTION. But here’s why I loved, and related to Chelsea, on a deeply personal level.
The Walton Goggins Of It All
Let’s get this out of the way first. To the untrained eye, Walton Goggins’ character is no Don Juan. He’s emotionally unavailable, rude to everyone he comes in contact with, self-obsessed, and HE LITERALLY ABANDONED HIS GIRLFRIEND FOR A FEW DAYS WHILE ON VACATION. Oh, he also was responsible for her being bit by a giant snake!!!
And yet…
I think he was the most attractive man on the show. Absolutely the one I’d be drawn to the most in real life. 1000000%.
Chelsea mentioned a few times that her and Rick’s relationship was more of a spiritual connection. She felt as though they were yin and yang. They were opposite in every way, but they balanced each other out. And, don’t get mad at me, but GOD DID I FEEL THAT.
I’m not saying it’s correct — but I do have an affinity for grumpy older men, or middle-aged weirdos (as Victoria Ratliff would say). In fact, many times my aforementioned older man asked me why I was interested in some grumpy, middle-aged weirdo and I was basically like, “Because you are a grumpy middle-aged weirdo.”
He was twelve years my senior and we had one of those deep connections that made me justify the not-so-great behavior. He could recall the very first time he saw me in a crowded room (and describe exactly what I was wearing) and I could do the same for him, and we didn’t even meet until years later.
I thought, “That doesn’t happen every day. This shit is cosmic!”
Naturally, it didn’t work out — but I clung to that shit for so long. Ultimately, chemistry and connection isn’t enough, I know that now through experience. However, I won’t deny that it’s hard for any relationship or connection to live up to.
Just like Chelsea, I have deeply romantic ideals and “reality” just doesn’t do it for me. Have you seen reality lately? What’s so great about her?
Endless Optimism
Chelsea wasn’t immune to anxiety or the negative vibes around her. She got bit by a snake, her boyfriend was acting shady, and literally everyone around her had a dark cloud over their head.
Yet, she never let her fear or anxiety get the best of her. She continued showing up, engaging, showing care for others, and believing that everything was going to work out. She so deeply believed that everything was written in the stars and there was nothing she could do to interfere, so she might as well just keep loving deeply and being positive.
She was tested in every way, and had every right to say, “Fuck it, what’s the point?” And she never did. She kept calling Rick to make sure he was OK and that he knew he was loved, and she didn’t disrespect him even when he deserved it.
(Again, not saying this is correct. But we all need to learn these lessons in our own time!)
She Listens and She Don’t Judge
This woman knew everyone’s dirty secrets (like, the dirtiest, most horrible, shame-inducing secrets) and she never once judged any of them.
They also felt safe with her, and trusted her, even though they had only just met her. In a world where nearly every single human being walks around with a cloak of shame and trauma, it is such a relief to be able to drop that cloak in front of someone.
She created a space where everyone felt comfortable being themselves, and speaking their true feelings, because she showed up authentically as herself. She never wavered.
In the end, it all comes back to the idea of identity for me.
Chelsea had the audacity to take pride in her identity. She was unabashedly herself in a world where people were murdering, stealing, betraying, etc. JUST to protect their egos and identities.
And I think this is why she is being judged pretty hard for being blind to reality, overly optimistic, and putting all her energy into “fixing” a man she loved. I get it, but I’ve been there. And I had to learn by being burned… repeatedly. I still wouldn’t trade the experience, and I miss being so naive.
Chelsea didn’t need to talk down to the staff to feel important, or have sex with Saxon to validate herself as an Attractive Person. She didn’t need to be “the cool girl” with Rick, or lie about why she was drinking alone to Chloe. I believe she contained the peace within herself that everyone goes to Thailand searching for.
No matter how her/their story ends, what a beautiful way to live. Especially compared to all those other rich bozos!
Side note: I just want to reiterate that there’s a lot of flaws with my perspective, and there’s various arguments to be made about privilege, ethics, gender, morality, etc. etc. I’m not PRO TOXIC MEN, despite my weird attraction to them!!! I just think sometimes it’s nice to see a character who loves themself, treats everyone like they matter, and in return they matter to everyone else.
5 things I’m living, laughing & loving
THIS is where I go unhinged though, apparently there’s some ~drama~ between Aimee Lou Wood and Walton Goggins. Like, a potential affair?!?! The Silver Springs?!?! (Links contain spoilers)
368chickens.com. I cannot stop playing.
Have you also been curious about that viral blue lip stain? Me too, but not enough to pay full price. Instead, I was influenced to buy the NYX Lip I.V. and it goes on like gloss (so, not blue) and stains when you blot it off. I am loving it so far.
I found this Instagram post about the tariffs impact on small businesses enlightening, and deeply troubling. (@eholmes // So Many Thoughts)
I mean, have I not mentioned the Gap x Muppets collection yet?!?! I have the Miss Piggy tee. Need the Gonzo one, too.
^^ That’s going to be my new survey at the end of every interaction I have.
Things have been Crazy with a capital C. The theater I work for flooded (cool cool cool) and it’s been stressful. But, I’ve been doing a lot of in-person trainings and I fly to Dallas next week for a 2.5 day event. Busy, stressful, but good?
I also booked flights for my trip to LA/Palm Springs next month and Vegas in July for the Backstreet Boys. AND, I just washed all of my leggings so now I don’t have to wear the “laundry day” pair without pockets anymore!! So, basically, everything’s coming up Patty.
Have a good life,
Patty
THANK YOU FOR HANGING OUT WITH ME:
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