#6 | How a Blizzard Ruined My Chances of Becoming a Billionaire
And how I'm totally, definitely over it.
Back in 2015 there were a series of blizzards that wrecked New England. Thankfully, I was living in Los Angeles during this time, spending my evenings in a dirty jacuzzi overlooking the Hollywood Hills while my family shoveled out the driveway! HA!
Don’t worry, ‘twas I who got the last laugh.
The snow piled up so badly that eventually my family’s garage caved in. It all worked out fine for them because they used the insurance money to re-side the house and get a new shed. BUT IT DIDN’T WORK OUT FINE FOR ME. I lost my BARBIES and BEANIE BABIES in that great Vernal Street disaster. My Barbie collection was IMPRESSIVE, and that Princess Diana beanie baby was still in its protective case!!!
I have always been a very loyal and sentimental person. I have prided myself on the amount of time I have spent in workplaces and for always leaving on good terms when it was time to move on. I am still close with the friend I met at five years old, and I have known most of the people in my life for over 20 years. I started performing comedy in 2005 at Improv Asylum and still work at the theater to this day.
For a long time, my identity has been wrapped up in tenure. I have felt that I deserve some things over others because of the hours I have put in. I have not left a bad relationship because it felt like a shame to have wasted all that time. I even still “pay my dues” in comedy by continuing to teach, direct, and perform when I can at the theater just so I can still call myself a comedian.
I mean, who am I if I’m not?
The truth is that time doesn’t matter nearly as much as effort. HOT TAKE, but I don’t agree with Malcolm Gladwell’s famous 10,000 hours rule. His theory is that the hours you put into something makes you better at that thing and his example was the years The Beatles spent performing in Germany. He thinks the time they spent churning out performances is what made them THE BEATLES.
I disagree. The time spent performing, plus the time they spent learning from and working with other musicians, plus researching and seeking inspiration and working with new instruments and styles of music is what made them The Beatles.
I am proud of my loyalty, my sentimentality, and the hours I have put into maintaining friendships and building a meaningful career. However, the time spent did NOTHING FOR ME. It was all the effort and learning experiences and trying and failing and intentional decisions I made during that time.
EXAMPLE! In 2021 I was told by Reebok that I would be let go at an unknown date because they were being purchased by a new Shaquille O’Neil. I was thankfully given enough time to find a new job, but it was devastating at first. I loved my job, and the company, but ultimately my role wasn’t necessary in the new organization. I was really sad to leave because I worked side-by-side with my colleague-turned-best-friend! We were a BELOVED DUO! We facilitated AWARD-WINNING PROGRAMS!
That was almost two years ago, and I’ve worked full-time at three different companies since then. I have learned SO MUCH MORE than I ever would have if I stayed at Reebok. I was exposed to new people, new cultures, new industries, and new projects. Having to activate a learner mindset so many times forced me to set my ego aside and stretch beyond my comfort zone.
Sticking with something because of the time (and effort) you have put in can be like living life on autopilot. I do not ONLY need to perform at the theater I started working at when I was 19 in order to be a comedian. I love that theater (and all its smells and trauma) but “paying my dues” by doing the same things I’ve done for 15+ years is not as fruitful as performing, writing, or creating in different and new ways.
The truth is… businesses will let you go if they need to make cuts, whether you’ve been there forever or not. Relationships or friendships will end, and should end, if both people in them aren’t intentional about keeping them going. We need to take an active role in our lives and our growth, it won’t just happen if the years are spent on autopilot.
As I age, I’m trying to avoid the sunk cost fallacy and make intentional decisions that enhance my current self in the best way possible. My heart doesn’t want anything to change and wants to be friends with the same people, work in the same place with the same co-workers, and have a cute long story with the love of my life. And maybe I will have all of those things! However, I need to prioritize who I am and what I need right now instead of holding on to things because of sentimental value.
Which is what I tell myself to get over the fact that I COULD HAVE BEEN A GODDAMN PRINCESS DIANA BEANIE BABY BILLIONAIRE RIGHT NOW. A #BEANIE #BABY #BILLIONAIRE!
HOT RECS:
📺 LATE-NIGHT SEGMENT Seth Meyers YA BURNT! in October 2023 with jokes written prior to the WGA strike. It’s clearly a bit but it’s so funny. I love the Barbenheimer joke.
🎙️PODCAST: Say More with Dr? Sheila - an improvised podcast hosted by Amy Poehler (as therapist, Dr? Sheila) and starring different couples every week. The guests have been Chris Parnell, Ana Gasteyer, Jessica St. Clair, Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, AND ALL THE COMEDY GREATS.
📙SPOOKY BOOK: And Then There Were None written by Agatha Christie and narrated by Dan Stephens. All the racist stuff is gone (10 little soldier boys) and it focuses on the story! It moves quickly and it’s full of suspense. Some might even say it’s “suspenseful”.
🧦SOCK: Hey, have you guys heard of WOOL SOCKS? They sound hot, right? Well they are!! But, I have Raynaud’s and need to keep my feet warm or they TURN PURPLE. So, these L.L. Bean ones are great and cozy and wow, I’m old.
Homeowner or Dateline Suspect? A List of Things I Bought At Home Depot This Week
Husky caulk gun.
Twinkling Holiday LED bows
Terro fruit fly traps (these are the better brand, don’t get Raid)
I leave you with this:
I’m on new ADHD medication (not that one) and it is changing my life (thanks to friends Jen & Kathryn for inspiring me with their experiences.) I am feeling FOCUSED and ready to take on this toxic world just like FASHION ICON, MISS PIGGY!
Also, happy Halloween. If I dressed up, I’d go as FASHION ICON, MISS PIGGY. Even if it invites the comparison.
Be safe out there & live your best life,
Patty
This was very good and at times I was like, I wish I wrote this but then I remembered, alas, somewhere way back in the creek, a Princess Diana beanie baby still exists in its plastic case.
#beanie #baby #billionaire. also, I lovingly vote dateline suspect vs homeowner.