There's a New Girl Boss in Town
She's not a regular girl boss, she's A COOL GIRL BOSS.
Now, let me just say that I don’t really know *exactly* what this means… but, based on context: Amy Poehler is Mother.
(Just kidding. I’ve watched Paris is Burning and Pose, so I’m on the cusp of knowing what it means.)
Have you been following her media journey over the last few months? She is killing it. And personally, she is killing me. She is validating everything I’ve ever believed deep down and wanted to be right about. She is exactly who I want to be when I grow up.
And by that, I mean… right now, as I’m currently a Grown Up™.
It feels a lot like she’s the new version of a #GIRLBOSS. But this rebrand is less about persistence, the grind, and Madewell totes.
It’s about being curious, following your intuition, and getting into bed at a reasonable hour. It’s about cancelling dinner plans when you have a leg cramp, using CPAP machines for your sleep apnea, and telling your friends you love them.
If you’re not a follower of Amy’s every move — she has a new podcast called Good Hang with Amy Poehler. It’s a delightful listen (or watch!) where she interviews lots of people, many of her good friends, and even talks about drool with First Ladies. (Well, just the one.)
The podcast space is so overly saturated with men talking to/at each other. I was so happy to have Amy join the space and change the conversation.
Now, I want to make it clear that Amy is not here to teach you how to be better or improve your life in anyway. But, if she were… I think she’d say the following.
Be positive.
Life is a drag right now… and always! Human beings are predetermined to a negativity bias because it’s easier and it’s protective. But, it’s the worst possible thing to do.
I realize that I’m being hypocritical when I say this, as I share advice and coach leaders to “be better”, but I’ve become so tired of self-proclaimed experts, such as Mel Robbins, flooding people with the #1 Rule/Tip/Hack to Change Your Life!
It becomes overwhelming, especially when the “hack” doesn’t work for you. It ultimately leads to feeling like a failure, giving up, and going 10x harder on all of your bad habits and beating yourself up.
As I mentioned, Amy says she’s not here to improve your life. She just wants to be a good hang. She encourages women to focus on having fun and surrounding yourself with people who are easy, breezy, beautiful — both at work and in life.
Similar to Julia Cameron in The Artist’s Way, Amy’s not indulging the Crazymakers anymore. We don’t have to live or work in chaos. We don’t have to allow bad behavior because the person is a genius or hard worker. We have the ability to choose and lead with joy, even if we can’t control who we’re surrounded by.
We can turn bad days around with a dance party, we can disassociate with a funny TikTok account and not go down an Instagram comparison rabbit hole, we can seek little treats, have compassion for ourselves, and leave our friends funny voice memos while we walk.
We are in control, regardless of the constant triggers around us.
By focusing on positivity, she leads the way for others to be more positive, too.
Even though, never forget, she’s not trying to improve your life!!!
If you need a good laugh, check out the first few seconds of the Tina Fey interview with Rachel Dratch.
Be curious.
“I was reading something recently, and by that I mean… I saw it on TikTok.”
I love a woman in her 50s getting all of her news from TikTok! She even had a viral TikTok last year with Rashida Jones, Rachel Dratch and Seth Meyers.
It’s so easy to get more and more cynical as you age. Things are changing at a rapid pace and it’s hard to keep up with the news, the vocabulary the kids are using these days, or even the style of jeans we’re supposed to be wearing!
Amy has shown that she’s genuinely curious about the fresh perspectives of the younger generation. She produced Broad City, a show featuring younger women doing a raunchier/weirder side of comedy that people hadn’t seen women do yet.
Instead of trying to do it herself in an inauthentic way, she leans into the people who are already doing it and gives them a platform.
Instead of judging the up-and-comers and calling ourselves “too old” or whatever, we should lean in and listen to the younger generation. A lot of what I see is not for me, but it’s so fun to see so many different perspectives. When we listen and show curiosity, it makes people feel safe to be themselves. And WHAT A WORLD THAT WOULD BE TO LIVE IN.
Go to sleep.
We’re not staying up late and going to the after-after-parties anymore. We need to spend quality time with our comforters and rest!
How else are we going to be so positive and curious all the time?! We need to go to sleep if we’re going to be doing the Lord’s work.
(And in this case, the Lord is obviously Alanis Morisette.)
Shove with love.
As a Boston girl, she is from a family that loved to poke fun at each other. It wasn’t until she moved away that she realized other families don’t do that.
I, too, am a Boston girl who does not know how to show love without making jokes. Sure, my family avoids eye contact and tenses up while reading our birthday cards from each other, but damn, are we a fun table to have if you’re a restaurant server.
On Smartless, the hosts (her EX-HUSBAND and his TWO BEST FRIENDS) are known for being super quick and constantly making jokes at each other’s expense and the guests usually just laugh at them. Not Amy. She goes toe-to-toe with them on every bit.
You could tell it was all out of love and shared history. She even said she was only starting a podcast because she was “winding down her career” as a joke about them creating a podcast later in their careers.
Don’t care if they like it.
There’s a famous story in Tina Fey’s book, Bossypants, about how Amy was making gross jokes and Jimmy Fallon, while laughing, told her to stop because it was gross.
“Amy was in the middle of some such nonsense with Seth Meyers across the table, and she did something vulgar as a joke. I can't remember what it was exactly, except it was dirty and loud and "unladylike",
Jimmy Fallon [...] turned to her and in a faux-squeamish voice said, "Stop that! It's not cute! I don't like it."
Amy dropped what she was doing, went black in the eyes for a second, and wheeled around on him. "I don't fucking care if you like it." Jimmy was visibly startled. Amy went right back to enjoying her ridiculous bit.
With that exchange, a cosmic shift took place. Amy made it clear that she wasn't there to be cute. She wasn't there to play wives and girlfriends in the boys' scenes. She was there to do what she wanted to do and she did not fucking care if you like it.
We need to get comfortable with making other people cringe.
In fact, she refers to this as “making it over cringe mountain.”
You are not for everybody. Everybody is not for you. The second you can get over the fact that people are probably going to make fun of you behind your back, or not like what you’re doing, or think you’re dumb/stupid/etc — is the second you are free.
We cannot control what other people think, but we have to do what we want anyway.
And, very importantly, make sure your role model is Miss Piggy.
I’m here for the much softer, much kinder, and much glowier GIRL BOSS renaissance. I truly never want to put on a pair of heels to prove my femininity, or be demure to make others (primarily men) feel more comfortable. I want to be myself, and like what I do, and have fun with friends!!
LET’S GO GIRLS.
5 Things 🖐️
🌐 A web browser that takes away all the ads, pop-ups and distractions. It’s a miracle for my ADHD overwhelm. Also, sometimes, it helps you bypass paywalls.
🎤 I am going to Vegas in July to see the Backstreet Boys at the Sphere. I truly never thought I’d go to Vegas again once I moved back to Boston, but here I am. Going again. I’m hoping my friends will want to go to Meow Wolf. I went to the one in Santa Fe and it was one of my favorite experiences ever. If you’re in a city with a Meow Wolf experience, go now!!!
🎬 On Sunday, I settled into bed and watched a cozy little 3-part documentary: Fred and Rose West: A British Horror Story. I had never heard much about their story but it’s insane if you like(?) true crime.
🦌 I’ve fallen down a TikTok rabbit hole of doing overnight/waterproof glam for waking up to a “natural” look. I have so far tried the lip stain and the self-tanner contour and I know that I am a monster but it does make me feel a little more confident. Kinda wanna try the fake freckles… ugh.
🖌️ These Mondo Llama craft kits are quick and cheap when you want to do something with your hands that isn’t scrolling.
The weather has started to turn in Boston and I hate to say that is kinda sorta bringing me back to life. I have sat on a bench in the dog park every single day just listening to birds, staring at the pond, and crying over bunnies playing. I know, that’s so corny, but I lost my headphones 😩😩😩.
I have to go blow dry my hair.
Bye! xo
✨ Barrett All, starring Patty Barrett, is written, directed, and produced by Patty Barrett. Lights and sound by Patty Barrett. Hair, make-up, and wardrobe provided by Patty Barrett. For more information, please reach out to Patty Barrett.
I want to get over cringe mountain so badly! Especially here on substack! This was a fun one! Need to listen to the pod with Amy and Tina!