Fwd: Fwd: Fwd: Forward This or ELSE!
Happy Summer & solstice, everyone! I hope everyone is enjoying the start to their summer break. SCHOOL’S OUR FOR THE SUMMER, lol. I’m bored so I filled out this survey, forward it to 20 friends or ELSE!!!!!!
LYLAS xoxoxoxoxo
Do you like blue cheese? NO! Unless it’s to dip things in it like wings and carrots. Or, like crumbles in a wedge salad at a good steak house. Ooh, or paired with some jam and those fig crisp crackers at Trader Joe’s. But otherwise, no.
Do you own a weapon? My thighs.
What flavor of Kool-Aid is your favorite? Whatever flavor bursts through my wall.
Do you get nervous before a doctor appointment? No, I’ve been performing for 20 years at this point.
What do you think of hotdogs? THANK YOU FOR ASKING. Why do they come in packs of 6 but the buns, MADE SPECIFICALLY FOR THEM, come in packs of 8? GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER HOT DOGS.
Favorite Christmas movie? Christmas Under Wraps a 2015 Hallmark Christmas movie starring Candace Cameron Bure (when she was still Hallmark before they got all gay).
“When an aspiring surgeon is turned down for a fellowship, she takes a temporary position working as a GP in a small Alaskan town in an effort to boost her résumé.” She falls in love with Santa’s son. Also, Santa has high cholesterol… from all those cookies!!!
Can you do push ups? Only my knees. LadiesamIright
What's your favorite piece of jewelry? The locket that I whisper all of my secrets into.
Favorite hobby? Googling my symptoms.
Favorite quote?
Middle name? Margaret in honor of my aunt… Ginger.
Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
“Why is only my right eye puffy?”
“Is this motherfucker going to get us involved in another war in the Middle East over the potential of nuclear weapons and start another world war because of his dumb ego?!?!?!”
“I want an acai bowl.”
Current worry? That we can’t say the word “puffy” anymore because of Puff Daddy.
Current hate right now? I have only hated two things in my whole life… the song “Red Red Wine” by UB40… and racists.
Favorite place to be? This morning, with her, having coffee <3
JUST KIDDING, Palm Springs!
Where would you like to go? Dakota Johnson’s house.
Do you own slippers? All Scrooge’s do.
What color shirt are you wearing right now? Green. Jealous?
Can you whistle? Only when I’m driving by a beautiful girl.
Favorite color? Green. Jealous?
Would you be a pirate? Did you know that pirates wear eye patches not because they’re injured or lacking an eyeball, it’s a protective measure for when they go below deck so they have an eye that’s already adjusted to the darkness?
But no. Sounds exhausting.
What songs do you sing in the shower? “Taps”
What's in your pocket? Chicken tenders.
Last thing that made you laugh? This morning, I couldn’t find my glasses (because I fell asleep with them on while watching a documentary about cowboys) and I said to my dog, “I can’t see without my glasses!!!!” Which, IYKYK, is a reference to the end of the movie My Girl when (spoiler alert) McCauley Culkin dies after getting stung by a bunch of bees and he’s in his casket without his glasses and his best friend, the Girl in My Girl, screams and cries “HE CAN’T SEE WITHOUT HIS GLASSES!”
Anyways, I’m a hoot.
Worst injury you've ever had as a child? The time my mom gave me a salad with the homemade vinaigrette dressing that I didn’t want.
Do you love where you live? Where else would a 19th Century New England ghost live?
How many TVs do you have? One, for the money. Two, for the show. Three, to get ready.
Who is your loudest friend? Helen Keller.
How many dogs do you have? Billie.
Cats? Holly.
Does someone have a crush on you? Not in this economy.
What is your favorite book? A Gentleman in Moscow and Number The Stars.
What is your favorite candy? Mints at restaurants where elderly people eat.
What song do you want played at your funeral? “Taps”
