Doomsday Preppin' with Patty!

Live, Laugh, Get Your Foot Touched By a Stranger

Is it just me, or is everyone going through IT?!?!

IT = Layoffs! Setbacks! Health issues! Uncertainty! Breakups! Catfishing!

OK, maybe not catfishing. But I’m sure someone out there is being catfished and they don’t know it yet!!!

In this New York Times article, “The Best Advice I’ve Ever Heard For How To Be Happy”, the author says:

Set up an “emotional first-aid kit.”

Think about things that reliably soothe you so you can pull them out during rough spots, said Susan Albers, a clinical psychologist at the Cleveland Clinic.

These might include, say, assembling a “serotonin playlist” to give yourself a lift, or collecting positive emails and screenshots of supportive texts from loved ones that you put in a folder.

Now, I may be a stone cold bitch, but there’s a cheesy gordita crunch wrap in me that loves this idea of setting my sad self up for future success. But, I know me. I’ve lived with me for roughly 39 years. I know that this activity must happen on a good day, so it’s easy to access on a bad day.

When I’m angry, sad, upset, etc. the last thing I want to do is search for something to make me feel better. I just want to feel better. I immediately go on auto-pilot and do the easy thing. The toxic thing. The alcohol thing. If there’s too much friction between me and joy, then I won’t bother.

The same goes for all of us. When our energy tanks are low and the positive neurotransmitters ain’t pumping, we seek comfort in our go-to habits. We don’t think there’s much point in actively trying to do better because we feel so low. It’s easier to brood, fight with our partners, drink, eat, doom scroll, etc.

We’ve gotta get strategic. So, in comes the Emotional First Aid Kit. Or, as I like to call it, PERSONAL DOOMSDAY PREP.

me, ready for Dooms Day

My Emotional First Aid Kit

Identify places to go to get out of the house.

When I’m overwhelmed, I need to remove myself from society. I’m grateful for living less than 5 minutes from The Fells in Massachusetts — a 2,200 acre forest area. I take my dog and walk a quiet trail overlooking the pond.

There’s also a dog park in another town that I like because it reminds me of when I first got my dog and the early days of sheltering in place.

There’s a lake nearby that I walk around, a bench on the Boston waterfront that I will sit on, and let’s face it… I love to walk around a mall.

Basically, find places to go, that don’t involve spending money, and GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.

Curate a workout playlist.

I almost never want to do it, but I know that it clears my head every single time and gives me a boost because I feel proud of myself for accomplishing something.

Even though I live across the street from my studio, I still do virtual workouts every now and then. My favorite yoga flows are with Yoga with Adriene. I also used to do this cheesy Crunch workout video EVERY SINGLE DAY. And IYKYK, this Dance! Workout with Barbie from the 90s. OH!!! Sweatin’ to the Oldies with Richard Simmons!!!

Make a playlist of songs to SCREAM SING while driving.

Since I got my license, driving has been my go-to relaxation tactic. I love getting in the car, throwing on a playlist, and singing at the top of my lungs.

Songs on my list:

• “Something to Talk About” - Bonnie Raitt

• “Total Eclipse of the Heart” - Bonnie Tyler

• “Man! I Feel Like a Woman” - Shania Twain

• “Power of Love” - Celine Dion

• “You Oughta Know” - Alanis Morisette (Obviously!!)

Bring the Joy! playlist.

Or, when in doubt, my Bring the Joy! playlist does the trick. Save me, “We Found Love” by Rihanna!!!

Collect things to light on fire.

Like… a candle, you guys. Not like Tai in Clueless.

I got little incense cones and put them inside a little wood cabin so the smoke comes out through the chimney. Fire feels ritualistic and cozy.

Screenshot texts from friends, significant others, and/or romantic partners.

I am guilty of having a folder in my phone filled with lovely, romantic, or inappropriate texts I’ve received to remember that I was young and desirable once.

Get touched.

This may sound creepy, but human touch releases oxytocin. Usually it’s in the context of hugs or kisses, but let’s face it, sometimes getting our feet touched by a stranger during a pedicure does the trick.

Or a massage!

Don’t doom scroll, play games.

I have somehow got hooked on the NYT games. I feel like a dad, or a male podcast host. But the Spelling Bee takes me so long and the satisfaction I feel when I get to Genius is just *chefs kiss*

Even when it invalidates my existence…

Make a list of books, movies, TV series to re-watch that you already know and love.

Call me DEPRESSION BARBIE, but I do be watching the BBC’s version of Pride and Prejudice a whole damn lot. I also watch Little Women or Muppet Christmas Carol all throughout the year. I also re-read A Gentleman in Moscow because it’s my happy place.

That’s right. My happy place is a book about an Aristocratic man being imprisoned in a Soviet hotel post-World War I.

Also, the Arrested Development Bees?!?! scene gets me every time.

When you’re in the thick of bad days — it’s easy to give into the easiest habits, even if they’re not great for us. I definitely think we should feel all the feels sometimes. But I also think there comes a point where it isn’t productive to let things we can’t control overtake our entire lives.

DOOMSDAY comes for us all, let’s set ourselves up for success and be ready.

*P.s. Depression is a whole other beast that cannot be cured with a Kelly Clarkson song. So, maybe try these things in addition to more traditional support.

5 happy things

1. Are you AN IDIOT, or you watching/listening to Good Hang with Amy Poehler? The Paul Rudd episode this week was so lovely. I’m writing a whole post on her and how she is WHAT WOMAN NEED RIGHT NOW.

2. I also enjoyed The Four Seasons with Tina Fey!

3. I have this tennis dress in three colors and I wear them ALL SUMMER LONG. I’m so happy to have it back on my body.

4. #ThrowbackThursday 1995 playlist.

5. I’m so excited that Poker Face with Natasha Lyonne is back. Last season was so good and I love her dearly.

iamthirtyaf

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Despite all of the terrible, I am (currently) feeling okay. That hasn’t been the case the whole week. That wasn’t even the case this very morning. But I got up, the sun was shining, I had a Coke Zero for breakfast because I’m an adult and I can, and I went to a very good mat pilates class.

I do believe it’s the little efforts we make on a daily basis that add up over time that help outweigh all the bad stuff. So, I hope you’re able to do a nice thing or two for yourself this week/weekend.

Love you. Mean it.

xo, Patty