#10 | PATTY'S FAVORITE THINGS!
Because I'm just like Oprah, except opposite in every way.
Hello! It’s me, Patty.
I have chosen to design much of my life after Oprah. Just like her, I was famously the first Black American woman to own my own production company. And I, too, was definitely once television's highest-paid entertainer as the successful host of a syndicated television talk show.
Today I am taking ANOTHER page from Oprah’s book and GOING HAM for the holiday season. I will likely be posting holiday content weekly, unless I forget.
Today, I present you with MY VERY OWN LIST OF FAVORITE THINGS!
Close your eyes and imagine that you’re leaving a taping of my show, The Poprah Binfrey Show, with all of these things in your possession. Like, you have to figure out how to get ALL OF THESE THINGS on a plane. We will not ship them to your home so if you don’t take them, you leave them!!!
FOR YOUR MINI MANORS
Raccoon Table Lamp - $228
I have NO REGERTS about buying this expensive lamp because it brings me SO MUCH JOY!!!! His name is Charles and I put little hats on him.
Flameless Taper Candles - $20 for 6
I have so many of these and I use them year round. I like these ones because they’re off-white and real wax. They are on a timer so they turn on every night when it gets dark and they create all the vibes without the fires.
Capri Blue Hearthside Candle - $38
YOU DESERVE A FANCY ANTHROPOLOGIE CANDLE!!!
Guy Fieri raccoon print - $25
I laugh every time I see it.
THINGS TO DISTRACT YOU FROM HOW TERRIBLE LIFE IS
Emily Dickinson Tarot Cards - $25
Do these cards match traditional tarot cards? NO! Do I constantly have to guess what they mean? YES! I still love them because they’re beautiful and getting into tarot has been fun. For more traditional tarot, I also have the Smith-Waite deck.
Kindle - $100 & a case that makes it look and feel like a real book because it’s too fucking light to take seriously - $30
I have to be honest, I hated this thing at first because it’s ONLY an e-reader with really shitty internet service and navigation but then I realized that’s the best part about it? I also learned you can get books from the library app and add them to your Kindle so you don’t have to purchase books!
Audible subscription - $15.99 / month
I LIKE BOOKS!!!!
THINGS TO DRINK MIMOSAS OUT OF
Pink coupes - $56 for 4
Anthropologie has the best glassware and they always have home sales. Wait for the sales!
FANLEIGH aka Fake Stanley aka Hydrapeak 40oz tumbler - $25
I have a Stanley too and it’s not worth the extra $20. This is fine and everyone thinks it's Stanley anyway. I drink 80-120oz of water with lemon juice out of it every day.
Rifle Paper Co stemless wine tumblers $25-ish
I have four of these and they’re A) cute and B) great for mimosas when guests come over because they keep everything cold! (Only guests that I don’t want to waste my nice coupes on. They’d appreciate my saying that.)
FOR YOUR NON-HUMAN BABIES
Woof Pupsicle - $25
My dog LOVES this thing; it’s so much easier to clean than a Kong and way better on their teeth than bones. I freeze Teddie’s peanut butter or canned pumpkin to put inside of them.
Cat springs - $4
My cat loves ‘em and loses ‘em all the time. There are so many under my oven, but they’re so cheap so I just re-buy them instead of going near whatever else is under the oven.
COOKING-RELATED
Ninja Air Fryer - $100ish
This baby has got me through some tough times. By that, I mean five years of chicken breasts. Maybe get one with multiple baskets? Idk, this thing lasts though!
Shun 8” Chef’s Knife - $180
My sister got me this for Christmas a few years ago and the second that I opened it, I literally sliced my finger and blood got EVERYWHERE! I still cut my finger all the time!!! It’s that good!!!
Smiley Face Spoon - $10
Bring joy to your cooking, you IDIOT.
FOOD STUFFS
Teddie Peanut Butter - $4
It’s from the same town as me!
Wonderful Chili Roasted Pistachios - $15
I’ve never done crack, but I’ve done these pistachios, and I assume someone’s making a documentary on their addictive nature.
Brightland Chili Olive Oil - $40
My friend, Jess Vaughan, got me the whole pack of Brightland oils when I bought my condo. I have re-bought this chili oil multiple times. It’s ‘spensive, but SO DELICIOUS. I put it on sandwiches and pizza and pizza sandwiches.
FOR THE SLEEPY TIME BEARS
Parachute Sateen Sheets - $169 for Queen Set
Funny story: I have never found a set of sheets that BLEW me away and I thought that maybe I was just, like, I don’t know, incapable of love. Then I took one edible too many (that’s two 5mg edibles) in Palm Springs and my friend Kelly Tanchum started talking about these sheets and before she even finished talking about them I ordered these sheets, a duvet, and pillow shams. I dropped like $500 in seconds. Anyways, it worked out, I love them.
Olly gummies - $30 for 120 gummies (2 months)
I was a Benadryl Babe for a while then someone at a dog park told me that research said that people who take Benadryl all the time are more susceptible to dementia… so now I’m an Olly Oxen and they do the trick.
Stars Above Pajama Set - $15
Don’t spend a lot of money on pajamas. I have SO MANY PAJAMA SETS and these are the ones I return to more than any other. They’re so soft and comfy.
SHE’S BEAUTY & SHE’S GRACE
Brazilian Bum Bum Cream - $48
Smells amazing, feels good and LASTS! I always forget to apply so one jar lasts me forever. I also bought the Trader Joe’s dupe for $6 and it’s just as good but seasonal!
Biossance Squalane & Vitamin C Oil - $75
I always buy it on sale. I pair it with cheap lotion!
Drybar Double Shot Blowdryer Brush - $100-150
This is the best blow-dryer, and waaaay worth it over the Revlon one. It gives me a perfect, bouncy blowout every single time. You can control the heat and a blowout takes ONE PLAYING of Whitney Houston’s “It’s Not Right But It’s Okay” 4:16
WORKIN’ ON MY FITNESS
Apple Watch - $No Clue Because I Don’t Understand The Different Models
I know everyone has one of these and I always resisted it because I’m not a watch person. BUT I LOVE THIS THING! It motivates me and helps me track my sister’s movements!!! (I know by her amount of steps whether she went into the office that day or not.) (If she didn’t, then I can ask her to do me favors!!!)
Athleta Salutation Leggings - $109
I have 6-8 pairs of these and I’m just realizing that’s nearly $800+ in LEGGINGS. BUT, they are the best leggings. They’re “buttery soft” (which is apparently how we want our leggings to be these days) but still have compression and don’t pill or collect nearly as much dog hair (although they still collect plenty of dog hair.)
Adidas Hiking Shoes - $98
I do quite a bit of hiking with my dog and let’s just say they make hiking shoes for a reason!!!! You need some traction out there!
MISC?
Dawn Power Wash - $5
I clean EVERYTHING WITH THIS!!! Except dishes.
Sharpie Felt Tip Pens - $5.29 for a 3-pack
These are the BEST pens if you love writing with a Sharpie but they don’t bleed between pages. I use them for my everyday pen and journaling and have them in every single bag, drawer, etc.
Wool socks - $40
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I have RAYNAUD'S DISEASE AND MY FEET TURN PURPLE, BLUE OR WHITE WHEN COLD. These socks help.
3 AHA! MOMENTS I HAD THIS THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY
“It’s tradition!” is not a good enough reason to continue doing things that make you miserable. If there’s some holiday “traditions” that could use some updates, we should make them. Maybe that means starting the day with a barre class and a hike, or I don’t know, not spending the entire day at the dinner table talking and drinking?
My best friend has babies. Plural! Didn’t we just graduate high school?
Slippers are the worst. Sure, they’re exciting the day you get them and plan to live your best, cozy life; but then you put your wet foot in fur after a shower and you’re like, “Oh right, these things are gross.”
IN CLOSING:
See you next week (probably!) for more thoughts and holiday content.
xo,
Poprah
Thank you Poprah! You gave me so many ideas for Xmas! And laughed a lot for the wet fur slippers 😂 Never put you your wet foot inside fur sleepers or you'll have to wait forever to not be wet anymore 😂